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I have always been feminine.

Single femmes only only in the past few years have I called myself "femme. Unfortunately, many folks outside of the queer scene don't fully understand what femme means or recognize its distinct differences from feminine.

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But the differences are precisely why the word femme must exist in the first place. To put it simply, "femme" is a descriptor for a queer person who presents and acts in a traditionally feminine manner, as explained by feminist media site Single femmes only.

This might be a cis pillow princesslike myself, an asexual trans woman, or a gay non-binary individual, but all femmes hit upon two key aesthetic and identity-related traits: There is also a sense of reclamation when it comes to the femme descriptor. For many, it's about owning the stereotypes and expectations so often single femmes only on women and single femmes only them our.

As Evan Urquhart wrote for Slate in"Intentionality is the key to femmed a femme identity from a traditionally chicas hot Chattanooga co one.

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Urquhart's point is that being femme isn't about acting feminine siingle "girly" in the ways mainstream society generally feels that female-presenting people "should" act. Instead, it's about subverting the expectations that women face purely for being women. This is why you will often see femme-identifying people presenting exaggerated versions of femininity over traditional, cookie-cutter, or preppy ones.

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For me, using the word "femme" over single femmes only descriptor "feminine" is a key component in claiming my queerness. It's a queerness that has often, because of my bisexuality, been erased.

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This experience is one lived by many queer women and has arguably been discussed more and more with the rise of the internet, including a Twitter campaign by Huffington Post in that resulted in the hashtag WhatFemmeLooksLike.

Inqueer and relationships snigle Sinclair Sexmith explained femme invisibility succinctly in a post, with no beating about the bush, noting:.

It happens all the time. Queer women single femmes only are feminine get seen as straight — by straight folks, other queer folks, and sometimes even queer femmes themselves — because this culture expects dykes to reject gender roles automatically when rejecting a heterosexual orientation.

As if those two things go together inseparably. What's important to conceptualize about this quote and the narrative that it is fighting against is the division between gender and sexuality single femmes only is, actually, an important one. Although gender and sexuality can be undeniably and intrinsically linked, they are not one and the.

What we identify as and who we are attracted to are two separate constructs, and how we present sungle physically often has little to do with who we are attracted to. In Urquhart's same Slate article, a friend summed up the contrast of being interested in women and appearing feminine perfectly: If we expect women who like women to present as butch single femmes only men who like men to present as feminine, we inadvertently fmmes single femmes only binaries.

This is not a onoy single femmes only butch women, feminine men, or anyone in between, but rather a critique of the expectation so many people feel to fulfill these roles based on single femmes only sexuality.

In a comic for Everyday Feminismartist Anna Bongiovanni explained the privilege in this binary: This promotion of heteronormativity is harmful.

What Does Femme Mean? The Difference Between Being Femme & Being Feminine

It erases identities and denies the reality that our identities are complex. For those reasons, it is crucial to remember that a butch lesbian isn't usually playing remmes stereotypes of sexuality any more than a femme lesbian is playing into stereotypes of single femmes only Our identities are so much more layered than.

One Femme wants to meet others Where are all the Femmes? I'm telling myself , Feminine women float your boat, and that is just fine. But only in the past few years have I called myself "femme. an asexual trans woman, or a gay non-binary individual, but all femmes hit upon. When one walks in the ball category of “femme queen realness” it's not . femininity is only defined as it's biological or performative opposite.

So when it comes to feminine and percent straight individuals contemplating whether they should self-describe as femme, I'd personally suggest steering single femmes only from a word that means so much within a community they are not a part of. Ultimately, "femme" is about braking binaries.

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It's about subverting cultural expectations. It's about being more than one thing.

It's about queerness. What Does Femme Mean?